


Hate That I Love You

by arnon_bleyheart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Pianist!Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:50:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6963175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arnon_bleyheart/pseuds/arnon_bleyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tony saw Steve kissing Sharon, his whole heart shatters. He played the piano to pour out his pent up feelings about Steve when Natasha heard him.<br/>( Set in a dimension where civil war never happened, and Bucky haven't been found.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hate That I Love You

Tony looked around the empty lounge around him. He took a shuddering breath. The rest of the team had gone on a mission. A small one, they said. They left him behind because  
“You need to rest, Tony. Your eyebags is so big and black you resembles a panda.”  
“Go to bed, Tones. We got this.”  
“Sleep, shellhead. You haven’t been sleeping properly lately.”  
He tried to protest but every one of them stared at them with this look that got him squirming. So he grumbled and run downstairs to his workshop. Steve followed him down and tried to enter the workshop to drag him to bed, but he override his codes.  
“Just, take some rest, Tony. You look bad.” Steve said from outside the workshop before running upstairs to assemble with the rest of the team. Tony just gripped his tablet tightly. The attention from Steve is suffocating him, since he knew Steve was just being the nice and caring captain he is. He unconsciously rubbed the arc-reactor, a habit he has been picking since he fell for Steve. After making sure that everyone is gone ( he asked JARVIS), he sighed again, before going to the lounge. He poured a cup of coffee for himself, then went back inside the elevator.  
“JARVIS, take me to my floor. “  
JARVIS doesn’t reply, but the elevator started moving so Tony relaxed and leaned on the cold metal behind him. He closed his eyes and immediately the memory of Steve kissing Sharon replayed. He gasped and pressed slightly on the arc-reactor, feeling the soft vibration from it calming him.  
Just the the elevator dings and opened on his floor. He strode quickly to his piano on the edge of his room. He seated himself on the bench. His fingers slide carefully at the top of the porcelain lid. He lift the lid up carefully and settled his fingers on the paper-white tiles. He inhale sharply ,and started singing, fingers dancing on the tiles.

Feeling used but I'm  
Still missing you  
And I can't  
See the end of this  
Just wanna feel your kiss  
Against my lips

He reminisced the time when Steve started visiting the workshop more. Sometimes just for a maintenance for his shield, and sometimes he just lay down at the sofa and watch Tony works. He sometimes draw, and he stays silent, both of them do. Tony always enjoyed those times and he felt like the weigh holding his chest is eased.

And now all this time  
Is passing by  
But I still can't seem to tell you why  
It hurts me every time I see you  
Realize how much I need you

He remembers when he started caring more for Steve. He tried to put his upgrades first on his lists. He’ll abandon his work if Steve calls him. He even once refused to hang out with Rhodey just to see Steve on his workshop. Maybe he had been obvious and Steve is trying not to hurt his feelings with rejection. Still, it hurts.

I hate you I love you  
I hate that I want you  
You want her, you need her  
And I'll never be her

The image of Steve and Sharon kissing pushed through his mind. His fingers falters a bit and his voice wavers. Steve looked so happy and content with Sharon. Steve smiled so cheerfully with Sharon, and he felt a piece of his heart died everytime he saw them together. 

All alone I watch you watch her  
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen  
You don't care you never did  
You don't give a damn about me

Steve doesn’t visit him as much as he did before. And he spend more time outside. Maybe sharing some silence with Sharon?

I hate you I love you  
I hate that I want you  
You want her, you need her  
And I'll never be her

His vision is blurry with tears by the time he hit the last note. He slugged on top of the piano, before feeling a hand ran through his hairs and he tensed. He snapped up to see Natasha staring at him with fondness and anguish. Natasha sat next to him and hugged him, and he slugged forward, fully resting his body weight to hers and let his tears out. Natasha kept running her hand through his hair while positioning him in her lap. They stayed like that for a long time before Natasha broke the silence.  
“Let’s go sleep, идиот.”  
She helped Tony stand and brought him to his room. She helped him laid in bed and she kissed his forehead.  
“Sleep.”  
She sat next to Tony on the edge of the bed, running her hand through his hair, calming him. He vaguely remember Natasha turning off the lights and left, before falling into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> The song i used here is I Hate You, I Love You by Gnash ft, Olivia O'Brien  
> Enjoy! ( Please excuse my bad grammar and vocabulary)


End file.
